Mediocre Athlete of the Week: The New York Giants

I thought I’d introduce a new weekly feature on Mediocre Athlete, partly because there are so many examples of mediocrity in the world that I’d be remiss not to share them with you, and partly to motivate me to get off my lazy off-season ass and update the blog regularly. So without further ado, I present to you the first Mediocre Athlete of the Week, the New York Giants.

"Okay, all we have to do is not let them score 28 points in 7 minutes. We got this!"

If you watched Sunday’s game of the Giants vs. the Philadelphia Eagles, you saw a self-destruction of pretty impressive proportions. Up 31-10 with less than eight minutes remaining in the 4th quarter, it appeared as if the Giants had this win in the bag. Unfortunately for them, a streak of mediocrity can hit even the most seasoned athlete, and they watched their lead get chipped away as the Eagles managed to tie the game with 13 seconds remaining in the 4th.

And then Giants kicker Matt Dodge did a truly derptastic thing and booted the pigskin straight to wide receiver DeSean Jackson instead of kicking the ball out of bounds. So rather than force the Eagles into setting up a play that would most likely have resulted in the game going into overtime, they shot the football to Jackson, who was like, “Nah, I’ll just end the game now” and returned the punt 65 yards for a touchdown and the win. Final score: Eagles 38, Giants 31.

"Oh, was that supposed to be difficult?"

Congratulations, Giants! You are my first ever Mediocre Athlete of the Week. Don’t worry, you’re still a formidable football team and we all have a bad day every once in a while. I’m sure you’ll bounce back from this 4th quarter embarrassment and will be back on your A game in no time.