This Snow is Workout-Blocking Me…or That’s My Excuse, Anyway

A couple weeks ago I was all gung-ho about making my triumphant return to working out (once you get to know me you’ll realize that I have a lot of “triumphant returns” to exercising). After my last race at the end of September, I took a couple months off to sit on my ass and get fat (I succeeded too!). I wanted to get back into serious training for the ’09 season, so I started running, cycling, and killing my triceps in order to get all aggro about exercising again.

That lasted about a week until Jason and I both got sick at the same time. I pretty much caught whatever had been circulating around our office for the past couple weeks (ah, the perks of working in a confined environment). You know how it is when you’re sick — you want nothing to do with any sort of physical activity whatsoever and are content to curl up on the couch and watch The Price is Right, sniffling and shouting at the contestants for bidding too high. While we were sick Jason and I pretty much sat on our asses and watched various terrible reality TV shows (we recently discovered the train wreck awesomeness that is The Bad Girls Club and holy shit, those girls be crazy).

Once we were both on the mend Jason and I were all “Time to get serious, yo.” I was all geared up to go to Tuesday’s evening track practice and make my triumphant return (cue the trumpets). Jason went in the morning and gave me the following feedback:

• It was freakin’ cold
• It was really freakin’ cold
• A stretch of the track was covered in ice, making running quite treacherous
• Seriously, it was cold. Jason had to borrow tiny Tracy‘s gloves so his fingers wouldn’t freeze off. I’m pretty sure the gloves are now stretched beyond repair.

I had miserable expectations for the evening track, but I didn’t have a chance to experience how cold and icy it was going to be–the extremely low temperatures prompted Teresa to cancel track. (Postpone the trumpets.)

Attempt #2 at our Triumphant Return was on Thursday. Jason and I signed up for an early morning interval cycling class and dry land swim conditioning. We set our alarm for 6 am and got everything ready the night before. At 5:40 am we were both awakened to the loudest fricking clap of thunder imaginable. We both sprang out of bed and uttered a simultaneous “Whoa.” He got up and looked out the window but saw nothing. We figured it was going to start raining and would probably freeze and make the roads slick. After climbing back into bed we heard another huge clap of thunder and anticipated the sound of falling rain next…but instead it was silent. Hmm…

A minute later my phone vibrated. It was Teresa texting me to say that it was snowing like crazy over in West Seattle so she was canceling classes. I said, “That’s weird, how is it snowing in West Seattle but not here?” Jason’s response: “Holy crap!” I looked out the window and saw blurs of white. In the 5 minutes between our first glimpse out the window and checking my phone, it had started snowing buckets. It was as if the sky farted and started pooping out snow.

We got a crapload of snow on Thursday and couldn’t work out because the Y closed and because we couldn’t run anywhere without rolling an ankle or slipping and cracking our heads open (which I’ll fully admit is something I’m prone to doing even when the weather is perfect). Aside from a trip to the grocery store, Jason and I were pretty much snowed in. Of course, having a snow day in Seattle is a built-in excuse to not work at the office, so my coworkers canceled work and all stayed home. I happily did the same.

On Friday morning my neighborhood was quiet and blanketed in snow:

The streets were empty save for two buses abandoned on Madison. The office was canceled again, so I stayed home and totally rocked the fireplace/hot chocolate/pajama pants/slippers combo. In fact, I got so comfy that I forgot to get off my ass and exercise. Silly me…

Jason and I planned on going for a run on Saturday but had afternoon plans to to see Gonzaga play UConn at the Battle in Seattle. We assured ourselves that “after the game is over we’ll go for a run.” Our optimism for both Gonzaga and for exercising lasted until the end of overtime when both the Zags lost and we were greeted with more snow flurries upon exiting Key Arena. A gruelingly slow hour later, we were finally home, our plans to run crushed under several inches of snow. The Y was closed, so we couldn’t swim or do an indoor workout, either. We managed to drown our sorrows with Mexican food and a few bottles of wine. “Tomorrow we’ll work out…”

Well, Sunday came. Once again the workout weather was…less than favorable.

The bush next to our front porch:

The steps leading up to our garage:

This is about as far as I can get my patio door to open:

Our bamboo is smothered under the weight of the snow:

And yes, it’s still snowing.

Jason and I trudged to Safeway to get stuff for dinner. We decided that a prime rib roast sounded nice and wintry, so we bought one, prepped it, and popped it in the oven. Since we both felt like fat, lethargic turds, we pulled our bikes out and decided to do an indoor ride. Triumphant return successful!

Er, kinda. The cooking roast heated up the entire downstairs, and my whole ride was choked with hot, roasted meat smell. I ended up feeling queasy and stopped after 30 minutes. The fact that I hadn’t worked out in two weeks didn’t help with my stamina, either. My triumphant return was pretty craptastic, but at least 30 minutes is better than yet another evening sitting on my ass, right? (The roast was fantastic, by the way. Way to reward your triumphant return with delicious meat and red wine, Rebecca!)

Okay, tomorrow snow be damned — I’m going to strap some tennis rackets to my feet and walk over to the Y for some swimming and weight lifting. If they’re closed (again) I’ll force myself to do another indoor ride (minus cooked beef stench) and will do sit ups and strength training until my limbs feel like noodles. I will push it to the limit (lim-mit!) and get back on track, damn it.

Or maybe I’ll open some more wine, prop up my feet, and queue up a movie…could go either way. (Who am I kidding, I know which way it’ll go…)