Clearly It’s Been a While Since I’ve Swum

Last week was the first time I swam since doing Ironman Canada at the end of August. There’s nothing quite like a 3 1/2 month break from doing something to really make you feel like you royally suck at it when you pick it back up again. I maintain that giving swimming the cold shoulder isn’t entirely my fault — when my coach puts “45 minute swim or bike” on my schedule, which option do you think I’m going to go for? The one where I can waltz over to my bike and do a spin while laughing at the poor decisions of the latest 16 and Pregnant girl, or the one where I have to dig out my swimsuit, drive to the pool, jam my crap in a locker, rinse off, hop in the pool, and swim back and forth while fighting off the limbs of Old Guy McLane Hog who’s frog kicking next to me?

Unfortunately, since I’ve taken a break from running due to the Achilles tendinitis, I’m left with biking, swimming, and the mind numbingly boring elliptical machine as my viable workout options. Teresa has taken my run hiatus as an opportunity to troll me by increasing my number of swim workouts from 0 (preferred) to 4 times a week (not ideal). She’s also increased my distance from a 1000 yard workout one week to 3200 yards the next. 3200 yards?! I ain’t doing no Ironman in 2011! Note to self: punch Teresa the next time I see her.

So I squeezed my offseason girth into my dusty swimsuit and trudged to the pool for the first time in eons. The water was uncomfortably warm because nobody actually does a legit swim workout at the Y, so while everyone else is casually paddling around the water, I’m battling heatstroke during my drills and contemplating shaving my head so my brain won’t bake underneath the swim cap. It was the crappiest 1000 yards I’ve swum all year, and I marveled at how 2.4 miles seemed so doable back in August.

Swim workouts are the ones I skip the most because they’re the ones I enjoy the least. Unfortunately, the past three seasons I’ve seen big improvements in my biking and running and only slight jumps in my swimming because I’m not putting in nearly as much effort in that sport as I am the other two. I can only imagine how much better a swimmer I’d be if I stuck to the workouts and put in the training time, so I suppose 2011 is as good a time as any to force myself to get those workouts in and see how much my swimming improves. That way, if I train my ass off and still post shit times, I can finally officially write myself off as someone who really has no business swimming in non-recreationally.